As a #Father it is good when you show your love and support for your children. Many people spend their lives seeking approval in the wrong places and in the wrong way because they never got it as children from their parents. The change starts with you as a Father; Dad; Guardian as Fatherhood is a powerful gift.
When you constantly shoot down every idea your child talks to you about or constantly critique with your usual saying that…”you know you should have…” or “in my day I…” one starts to develop an inferiority complex, low self esteem and will develop a habit of not going for their dream because ” it is too grand an idea” or “beyond their reach.”
Do not get me wrong giving your ‘two cents’ of advice to your child so as to steer them on the right path is okay, but Parenting does not make you a warden.
The problem is when you dish out critiques arbitrarily and constantly in a negative way because you want them to only do that which you approve off and fits in with your grand scheme of plans, as you try to impose your choices and life decisions to them is destructive. And even when they have done very well, you still look for something they could have done better, is a recipe of a life full of ‘what ifs’, ‘failure’ and lots of heartache for both you and your child.
You harm your child more when you do not give them your approval to the point that if a stranger acknowledges them in any little way, they have a lot of power over them, and as we know it goes downhill from there.
So next time your son or daughter comes home from school with B’s not A’s or wants to be an actor instead of that doctor you wanted in the family…give him or her a listen and celebrate and support them…you may just be amazed with the results. Give your child your stamp of approval.
Fatherhood254 would love to hear from you about your Fatherhood experiences. Feel free to share or ask questions or nominate a ‘Present Father’. Remember we are not here to break but build a Fatherhood community as we support each other.